Creating Co-Parenting Plans for Infants: What to Know About Custody, Schedules, and Supporting Your Baby’s Development
Co-parenting an infant after separation or divorce comes with unique challenges — and a strong, thoughtful parenting plan can make all the difference.
Whether you’re resolving things amicably or headed to court, Los Angeles family law judges expect parenting plans to prioritize your baby’s development, safety, and emotional well-being. Here's what to consider when crafting a plan that works for your family.
Why Infant Parenting Plans Are Different
Infants aren’t just smaller versions of older kids — they have distinct developmental needs. They rely heavily on their caregivers for emotional regulation, secure attachment, and basic survival. Because of this, parenting plans for infants should prioritize:
Consistency and predictability
Frequent contact with both parents
Shorter durations of separation from the primary caregiver
Tip: Understand Legal vs. Physical Custody
There are two types of custody in California:
Legal custody = who makes major decisions,
Physical custody = where the child lives and parenting time.
This post focuses on physical custody — in particular, parenting time arrangements for infants. Want to learn more about legal and physical custody generally? Check out our blog post: Child Custody 101: Legal Custody vs. Physical Custody in California – What You Need to Know.
Understanding Infant Attachment and Separation
For infants and toddlers to form strong, secure bonds with both parents, frequent and predictable contact is essential. Babies don’t understand time the way adults do. Long gaps without seeing a parent can disrupt attachment and create anxiety.
Short, consistent visits help infants feel safe and comfortable with each parent. This is especially important during the first 3 years of life, when secure attachment has a lasting impact on emotional development.
Around 15 to 24 months of age, many children experience heightened separation anxiety. While transitions may involve some clinginess or tears, most infants adapt quickly with love and consistency.
Tips to Support Secure Attachment and Transitions
If one parent hasn’t been involved regularly, start slowly and build trust over time.
The less-involved parent should have meaningful, one-on-one time — not just brief or supervised visits.
The primary caregiver should share key information (meals, meds, sleep habits, etc.) to help both parents follow a similar routine.
Keep exchanges brief and smooth — avoid drawn-out goodbyes or tense handoffs.
Use comfort items like a favorite blanket or stuffed animal to ease transitions.
Stick to a consistent weekly schedule with set days and times.
What Infants Need in a Parenting Schedule
Infants thrive on predictable routines — feeding, naps, bedtime, and playtime. The more consistent the schedule, the more secure your baby will feel.
Los Angeles courts generally favor plans where:
The infant has frequent visits with each parent,
Both parents commit to maintaining consistent caregiving routines.
The Importance of Frequent, Meaningful Contact
Even if one parent is the primary caregiver, the other parent should have regular opportunities to bond with the infant. That means:
Participating in key routines (feeding, diapering, bedtime),
Being present and engaged during parenting time,
Creating calm, loving, and responsive interactions.
Short, frequent visits tend to work better for infants than longer gaps in between.
What If You're Breastfeeding?
While California law doesn’t favor mothers over fathers, breastfeeding can be a factor when determining what’s best for the baby. Judges often aim to support reliable feeding schedules while still fostering bonding with both parents.
In these situations, parenting time may be structured around feeding needs, with the goal of evolving over time as the child grows and feeding patterns shift.
Consider a Step-Up Parenting Plan
A common result in custody cases involving infants is a step-up plan — a custody schedule that gradually increases time as the child develops and adapts.
For example:
Begin with regular, brief visits,
Add longer daytime visits as the baby grows,
Progress to overnights when developmentally appropriate.
A step-up plan can promote healthy attachment, reduce transition stress, and support both parents' relationships with the child.
Use a Shared Logbook or Baby Tracker
One simple tool that can improve communication is a shared logbook, calendar, or app that tracks feedings, naps, medications, diaper changes, and more.
Benefits include:
Consistency across households,
Fewer misunderstandings,
Better support for the baby’s unique needs.
Apps like Baby Connect, shared Google Sheets, our Our Family Wizard can make this easy.
When the Split Isn’t Amicable
Even if communication is strained, courts expect both parents to encourage the child’s relationship with the other — assuming it’s safe.
If you have serious concerns about the other parent’s behavior or environment, speak with a family law attorney. In high-conflict cases, court orders may include detailed safeguards and structured transitions.
Sample Schedules
Here are two sample schedules for infants:
Schedule 1:
Step One
Parent A: Tuesday, Thursday 4:00 p.m. to 7:00 p.m. Saturday 10:00 a.m. to Sunday 10:00 a.m.
Parent B: All other times
Step Two
Parent A: Tuesday 5:00 p.m. to Wednesday 9:00 a.m. Thursday 4:00 p.m. to 7:00 p.m. Saturday 5 :00 p.m. to Sunday 5:00 p.m.
Parent B: All other times
Step 3
Parent A: Wednesday 4:00 p.m. to 7:00 p.m. Saturday noon – Sunday 5:00 p.m.
Parent B: All other times.
Step 4
Parent A: Wednesday 4:00 p.m. to 7:00 p.m. Saturday 5:00 p.m. to Monday 8:30 a.m.
Step 5
Parent A: Tuesday noon – Wednesday noon Thursday noon – Friday noon Saturday noon – Sunday noon.
Parent B: All other times.
Step 6
2-2-3 parenting schedule.
Schedule 2:
Weeks 1 & 2
Parent A: Minimum 2 hours per visit, three times per week on nonconsecutive days
Parent B: All other times
Weeks 3, 4, & 5
Parent A: Minimum 3 to 4 hours per visit, three times per week nonconsecutive days
Parent B: All other times
Weeks 6 & 7
Parent A: Minimum 5 to 6 hours per visit, three times per week nonconsecutive days
Parent B All other times
Week 8
Parent A steps up to overnights, and overtime, eventually to 2-2-3 schedule.
Final Thoughts
Parenting plans for infants require thoughtfulness, communication, and flexibility. When done well, they create a solid foundation for your child’s emotional development and long-term well-being.
If you're creating a parenting plan for your baby in Los Angeles, our firm can help you craft an arrangement that supports your child’s needs and protects your parental rights.
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Emily Rubenstein Law PC is a full service divorce and family law firm. We proudly serve Beverly Hills, West Hollywood, West Los Angeles, Santa Monica, Culver City, the South Bay, Glendale, Pasadena, Sherman Oaks, Studio City, Encino and all of Los Angeles County.
Give us a call or check out our website:
(310) 750-0827 | www.emilyrubensteinlaw.com
On your side,
Emily Rubenstein, Esq.
Founding attorney
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